Lemon Harangue Pie

My Face Is Tingling...

2009-12-17T07:19:00.002-06:00

My Kind of Cheese

2009-12-10T07:43:00.004-06:00

Yeah, it's expensive, but I'd still love to try some of this:

You can visit Hook's Cheese Co. here.

First Church of Tiger Woods Disbands

2009-12-05T19:21:00.003-06:00

From TigerWoodsIsGod.com:

It seems having these escapades brought to light has been a healthy dose of reality not only for Tiger but for his fans as well.

More "Britiocy" from Across the Pond

2009-11-30T11:14:00.005-06:00

Here's the latest example:

With all the idiotic stories coming out of Great(?) Britain these days, I think the word "britiocy" should officially be added to our vocabulary.

"As God As My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly"

2009-11-26T21:34:00.004-06:00

Here's the classic WKRP episode "Turkeys Away."

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Golfing = Littering

2009-11-10T12:57:00.005-06:00

What was once a gentleman's sport is now considered an environmental hazard. From CNN:

Of course, anyone who has watched Seinfeld knows the damage golf balls can do to the environment:

"Awesome" Mayoral Candidate

2009-11-04T12:01:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I miss living in Minneapolis. Here on the east side of the river we just don't get "awesome" mayoral candidates like Joey Lombard:

Perhaps the most appealing aspect of his campaign was his promise to improve the city by "putting his years of playing Sim City to use."

Did I mention that Joey "is awesome"? No, really. It even said so on the ballot:

Too bad he didn't win. He certainly was infinitely more qualified than the bloated bureaucrats who have held the office up until now.

Walmart Now Selling Caskets

2009-10-31T12:37:00.006-05:00

We all knew this was coming sooner or later. Walmart is now in the funeral business, offering quality caskets at reasonable prices.

Some of you are probably thinking the folks at Walmart are trying to cash in on the current flu pandemic scare. Perhaps. But maybe they're just catering to people who think its rather silly to waste their hard-earned money on something they won't even be around to enjoy.

Makes sense to me!

It's the End of the World as We Know It...and I Feel Fine

2009-10-05T07:05:00.017-05:00

By now you've probably heard of the new movie 2012. This is the latest corny disaster flick from director Roland Emmerich, who also brought us such gems as Independence Day, Godzilla, and The Day After Tomorrow.

The movie is based on the theory that "something" will happen in 2012 because the Mesoamerican (or Mayan) Long Count calendar just ends on December 21 of that year. Many think this is significant. Despite the fact that the Mayans couldn't even predict their own demise, some people believe they had special insight into the future and foresaw the end of the world.

If that premise isn't laughable enough, the movie seeks to make it downright hilarious. Take a look at the trailer see if there is a single disaster the film's creators may have missed:

Oh, yeah. The feel-good movie of the year.

The movie is set to be released in November of this year. I suppose that shouldn't come as a surprise. If the end of the world really does correspond to the end of the Mayan calendar, then a 2012 Christmas release wouldn't make much sense.

My theory as to why the Mayan calendar ends in 2012: the guy writing it simply got writer's cramp.

Our Energy Problems Are Solved!

2009-10-16T11:25:00.002-05:00

The energy problems of the world may be over. From Spiegel Online:

Seriously, have you ever heard of a shortage of rabbits? They're the perfect renewable resource!

Why Older Generations Were Happier

2009-10-14T08:18:00.003-05:00

It's difficult for those of us raised to "just say no" to imagine a time when drugs like cocaine, heroin, and opium were sold regularly as over-the-counter remedies. Imagine seeing these on the shelf at your local CVS:

See more examples here.

Snakes on a Plain

2009-10-13T20:26:00.003-05:00

Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?:

Enough is enough! I have had it with these...well, you know.

NASA's Moon Bomb a Bust

2009-10-09T11:05:00.001-05:00

We first heard about NASA's plan to bomb the moon back in February of 2008. No, there weren't any intelligence reports of hidden WMD. The object of the mission was to slam a probe into a permanently shadowed region of the lunar surface in order to kick up enough dust that could then be analyzed to see if water ice might be present. (Can you think of a better way to spend our tax dollars?)

If that wasn't exciting enough, we were even going to get to see live photos of the event! But that didn't pan out exactly as NASA scientists had hoped.

Here's an update from the AP:

Oh, sure. They can land a man on the moon...

How You Can Tell You're Watching High School Football on ESPN

2009-10-08T19:01:00.004-05:00

When you learn strange, non-football-related facts about the players...

Texas State Fair-Goers Introduced to Deep-Fried Butter

2009-09-04T15:55:00.008-05:00

Abel Gonzales Jr., the same guy who brought you deep-fried Coke, has introduced a new artery-clogging oddity to the state fair culinary lineup: deep-fried butter.

To make this greasy concoction, real butter is whipped until fluffy, frozen, dipped in batter, then dropped into a fryer. It's such a simple concept, I'm surprised no one has thought of this before.

For the more health-conscious fair-goer, Gonzales does offer a plain-butter version. The butter nuggets are also available in three additional flavors: garlic, grape, and cherry.

Maybe deep-fried butter isn't so strange after all, especially for Texans. Here are just a few of the other "foods" featured at the fair:

Green Goblins: Cherry peppers stuffed with spicy shredded chicken and guacamole, battered, deep-fried and topped with queso.
Twisted Yam on a Stick: A spiral-cut sweet potato, fried on a skewer, then rolled in butter and dusted with cinnamon and sugar.
Fernie's Deep Fried Peaches & Cream: Served with a side of vanilla buttercream icing for dipping.
Texas Fried Pecan Pie: A mini-pecan pie battered, deep fried and served with caramel sauce, whipping cream and chopped candied pecans.
Country Fried Pork Chips: Battered, thin-sliced pork loin deep fried and served with sides of ketchup or cream gravy.
Sweet Jalapeno Corn Dog Shrimp: Shrimp on a stick, coated with a sweet and spicy cornmeal batter, deep fried and served with a spicy glaze.
Fried Peanut Butter Cup Macaroon: A peanut butter cup wrapped inside a coconut macaroon, fried and then dusted with powdered sugar.

Hack Your Life

2009-09-03T07:24:00.004-05:00

Looking to make your complicated life a little easier? Check out LifeHacker.com.

This nifty site offers all sorts of "tips and downloads for getting things done" and covers just about everything. Want to eliminate that chaotic cluster of computer cords? Mix your own chalkboard paint? Make an inexpensive pair of noise-isolating ear buds for your iPod? Order secret menu items at fast food restaurants? You'll find the answers at LifeHacker.com.

Google Introduces New "Opt Out" Feature

2009-08-26T06:27:00.001-05:00

"The Birds" Barbie Doll

2009-08-05T07:01:00.004-05:00

Now this is a doll even little boys would want to play with. Introducing the Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds Barbie Collector's Doll.

Shipping begins Sunday August 30, 2009, but you can pre-order yours today from MonstersInMotion.com.

The Machines Are Rising

2008-12-02T07:54:00.004-06:00

If science fiction movies about super computers, robots, and artificial intelligence have taught us anything, it's that even the best of intentions have a tendency to backfire. I must assume, therefore, that the folks at the Pentagon don't have time to watch movies because they're working on creating "ethical" robot soldiers:

Robocop

Robot Wars

__( Insert your own "I'll be back" joke here. )__

AMC to Air Remake of "The Prisoner"

2009-07-31T09:22:00.005-05:00

I loved watching reruns of the 1960s series The Prisoner as a kid. Naturally, I'm very excited to see the miniseries remake, starring Ian McKellen and Jim Caviezel.

Looks interesting!

The Robot Revolution

2009-07-29T09:50:00.007-05:00

The prospect of super-intelligent machines posing a threat to humanity's existence has always been a popular theme in science fiction. But some experts fear it may actually be more science than fiction. From the New York Times:

So, might we expect a robot revolution in the near future? It seems to have already begun in Sweden according to this report:

The bright side to this report is that it appears the revolution is only in the Maximum Overdrive stage. It will probably take several years before it reaches Terminator or Matrix proportions. After that, watch out.

Ants Take Over the World!

2009-07-02T15:34:00.005-05:00

That's what scientists are saying:

Linepithema humile

To borrow from Kent Brockman, I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted online personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

Walkman vs. iPod

2009-06-30T09:21:00.003-05:00

13-year-old Scott Campbell swapped his iPod for a Sony Walkman for a week and detailed his experience for BBC Magazine:

Read the rest here.

This trip down memory lane gives me an idea. I still have a bunch of unopened blank cassettes lying around the house, so maybe I'll make my wife a lovely mixed tape for her birthday. If she can't find her Walkman, all she would have to do is hook the boom box up to the computer, convert the audio to mp3 files, import the songs into iTunes, and then copy them to her iPod.

Yeah, nothing says "I love you" like a mixed tape!

"Mama, Don't Take My Kodachrome Away!"

2009-06-23T06:59:00.009-05:00

It's a sign of the times. First, we learned that Polaroid film was going the way of the dodo. Now, Kodak has announced that after nearly three-quarters of a century it will be retiring its Kodachrome film at the end of this year. Paul Simon just might have to suck it up and get himself a digital camera.

Things like one-hour photo processing and instant cameras really caught on during the 1970s and '80s. Many old-school photographers weren't happy with such developments (pun intended), but I for one loved being able to see how my pictures turned out the same day I took them. What could be better?

Like most spoiled Americans, I like things now. (Yesterday would be even better.) Thanks to digital photography, it's a real treat to be able to determine immediately whether or not a second or third shot is needed. No more wasted film and, more importantly, no more waiting.

However, as nice as instant gratification can be, there are some things about taking "regular" photos I will miss: Selecting just the right film for the occasion. The chemical smell of a freshly opened package of film. Loading the camera. The tell-tale *click* when snapping a picture. The unmistakable whirring sound of the film rewinding after the final shot. Dropping off the film to be developed and the subsequent anticipation of seeing those pictures for the very first time. Those experiences will be lost forever.

But this is the age of digital, and I'm content to keep up with the times. So, Mama, if you're going to take my Kodachrome away, how about a new Flip video camera?

For a fitting tribute, check out The Kodachrome Project.

Britain Introduces the "Anti-Stab" Knife

2009-06-15T09:07:00.004-05:00

From Times Online:

Leave it to the Brits to come up with yet another giant step backward in the area of self-defense.